When no ones looking
by CourtLynn
Summary: It all started when Ciel was a child. Harshly abused by his parents for being cursed by a demon. Ciel runs away to live with Sebastian, the man haunting his mind, and Sebastian seems dead set and claiming Ciel..one way or another..
1. The life of an Abused Child

It all started…well..in preschool.

The bell rang for school to be released for the day. As the children filed out in groups they headed to their loving families who greeted them warmly. Smiles and kisses were passed around as the children each got into their individual cars and drove away. Snow fell gently and calmly on the ground, which was already covered in the stuff from earlier in the day. One boy in particular began walking down the very long sidewalk, heading home from another day. He had ash black hair that contrasted with the snow quite beautifully. He had one big cerulean blue eye that looked like that of the splashing ocean at midnight; shone brightly as he dashed through the thick crystal-like snow to his home. His other eye covered by a black eye patch. He didn't know what was so wrong about his eye, but his parents said he could never ever take it off, so he didn't. He didn't have many friends at school because they were scared of his eye patch. So he was usually found by himself. He wasn't properly dressed for the snow. Even though when living in England this type of weather is expected. His small jacket and shoes with no socks caused shivers to run through his body. He was almost home.

"Mommy! Daddy!" The child yelled happily as he burst through the door trying to warm up from the cold. He pulled off his shoes and tightened his jacket as he ran to the living room where his parents not so kindly ignored his earlier call. "Look it!" He pulled out a crumpled painting from his book bag. "Look what I made today mommy! It's a painting of us- "I'm trying to sew right now Ciel" She stated coldly. The boy paused for only a second before trying to persuade his mother again. "Mommy I made this for you and daddy! Guess which ones you!" He giggled happily before his mother began stabbing the painting with her tiny needle and saying, "Ciel I told you I'm busy. Now go to your room and stay there until dinner! You will not get any snack and you will not bother us understand? She practically yelled at the child. Holding back his tears that had begun to form in his eyes he nodded sheepishly and exited to room to his bedroom with his father saying nothing.

Sitting in the bedroom the crystal tears continued to fall from the 4 year olds small sobs were muffled from the sound of his pillow. He heaved and sighed before continuing to cry. Why did his mommy and daddy hate him so much? He certainly loved them. Why didn't they ever come get him from school? He didn't live that far away or his teachers wouldn't let the 4-year-old child walk. But when he saw the other children run up to their mothers and fathers getting warm hugs and hearing them say "I love you!" and "I missed you!" Why couldn't Ciel get that kind of love?

Ciel. Ciel Phantomhive.

The child of Rachel and Vincent Phantomhive, who where well known aristocrats of England. Ciel always loved them. He got them small tokens of appreciation like picking a pretty flower he'd find on his way home, or the painting he made at school which was now full of small tears and holes. It didn't matter once it was ruined; like the flower which was thrown in the fireplace.

_Your parents are cruel._ A voice said. Ciel jumped and backed to the headboard. "W-who a-are you?" Ciel choked. _Your friend. _The voice replied. "Where a-are you? Are you God?" He whispered the last word. The voice chuckled _No. Quite the opposite. _"What's your name?" The child asked curiously. _Sebastian. _"Can I talk to you again?" _Of course. If you need me, just call my name. Goodbye Ciel_. "Goodbye" Ciel said dumbly. Not even thinking of how he knew his name. Just pleased he had someone to talk to.

Once the tears stopped (which took all the way up to dinnertime) Ciel was called for dinner. He was so hungry since he wasn't allowed to eat a snack. Maybe his loving parents had made a delicious dinner for him?

No.

It shouldn't have even been considered dinner. More like…frozen food in a plastic container. He watched his mother heat it up in the microwave and hand it to Ciel before going to sit with Vincent. Ciel wasn't allowed to eat with his parents; he eats in the other room by himself. Once he called and asked to say grace but his parents said no. When they thought he couldn't hear he heard them say, "God doesn't love you. You don't deserve to be blessed." He never understood what that meant until he was older.

After dinner he had to clean his mess up and take a bath. He was never good at cleaning himself because no one told him to "keep the conditioner out of your eyes". He cried more when it stung like crazy and he tried washing it out. Then he would go to his bedroom and crawl into bed with no story and no goodnight kisses. Once he quietly started to pray but his father beat the wall harshly and screamed "Ciel! Stop talking! NOW!" You could guess that more tears came and continued through the night. Breakfast was quiet and then Ciel was rushed to school where the cycle would begin again.

Ciel thought something was wrong with him since his parents acted differently than the other parents. It wasn't until he questioned his parents that his life fell into a deep thick black abyss where he would be trapped forever.

Asking his mother "Mommy? Why do you and daddy hate me? Is it because I always want to talk to God? I love God like I love momm- "SHUT UP!" His mother spat at him "You are FORBIDDEN to say Gods name ever! Now get out of my sight!" He walked around the corner and heard his father come in "Honey what's wrong?" His mother was crying. "Why?" she sobbed, "why did I give birth to that monster!" She continued to cry as Vincent's expression went cold. "CIEL!" he roared.

Ciel ran quickly to his room and closed the door. Ciel hid under the covers like the truly scared child he was. Vincent burst through the door and saw the shivering blankets on the bed. He didn't need to pull the blankets off. He simply shoved the lump off the bed onto the floor.

Ciel crashed onto the floor with a "thud". He let out a cry of pain but was already tearing up when he got to his room. Vincent walked over the still covered boy and ripped the blanket off. "You" he murmured. "You made my wife cry you creature." He brought back his foot and landed it on Ciel's ribcage. More kicks were delivered to his body. He was lifted by his hair and thrown across the room. Crashing into the wall and falling to the floor Ciel cowered into the corner. Vincent threw three shoes at the boy, called him a nasty name and stomped out of the room.

The name then rung in Ciel's ears for the rest of his life..

"Demon."

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The strange beatings occurred almost every day for almost 6 years until he was 10 years old. All the while he would silently sit in his room and talk to the mysterious voice in his head. Sebastian seemed quite nice. He always took Ciels side and Ciel felt warmth when he talked to Sebastian. But his life didn't change much from that. His mother came home and was just bored so she decided to throw her large hot curling iron at him when he got out of the shower. She then pressed in roughly to his side until it left a nasty, red, brand in him. He screamed in agony as she continued to dig her nails into his scalp and pulled him to his feet. "Get out" she spit. He ran to his room. "Sebastian!" Ciel yelled desperately _yes Ciel? _Wh-where are you? Are you even real? Can't you help me? Please! I just want to leave! Help me! _Leave. Runaway. You'll be safe. I promise. _The promise waved through Ciels head. He ran to his room and packed a small bag. He then secretly stole a few things to eat. He couldn't find any aloe for his burn so he sprinkled some water on it and wrapped some bandage around his middle. Almost out the door Ciel grabbed as much clothing he could throw on. It was snowing outside. He was so proud he almost made it out the door before his father pulled up into the driveway.

"Shit" he muttered silently. He turned and ran back up to his room looking for some escape.

_The window.._

Sebastian told him. He threw open the window and jumped to the nearby tree. "aahh!" The ice on the branch dug into his nimble hands and blood began to dye the snow red. Ciel fell to the snow and ran down the street as fast as he could. He only made in 4 blocks before his asthma started acting up _Damnit! Where's my inhaler!_ He searched through his bag but he felt like he was dying. His lungs weren't taking in the air and he thought he stopped breathing. Ciels small frame shook violently as he coughed and fell over. The last thing he saw was a black clad man with blood red eyes staring at him from across the street.


	2. The man in his Mind

**Hello world and all who inhabit it! I am so happy to see this story interested some people! Its my very first story so if something appears wrong or my chapters end up out of order or something please..(whats it called?) PM me and just let me know ^_^ I also suck at that damn pagebreak thing down there! Lol you get the idea (:**

_**Disclaimer:**_** I OWN KUROSHITSUJI. *is sued for copyright laws.* Okay..so I DON'T Own Kuroshitsuji annnddd now im broke -_-**

Er enjoy? :D

* * *

Ciel sat up and looked around. He couldn't register anything. Where was he? What was he doing in the floor? He saw his surroundings…he was in a

white room. The walls were white as well as the floor. The room was huge, and it could have gone on for miles all around. The ceiling looked like a huge

light, like he was looking to the heavens. There was no roof to this room, nor was there a door. Seeing such a calming pure white scene reminding Ciel that

he had passed out in the snow. He gasped and grabbed his chest to check his breathing. He seemed fine.

_I see your awake, well your mind is anyway. _

"Sebastian?"

_The one and only_

"Oh thank goodness I thought I was alone in here!" Ciel looked around half excepting to see Sebastian somewhere, but there was no one.

_Actually, you are. _

"What do you mean?" Now he was concerned.

_This is your mind Ciel. Look around. It contains a pure essence of white. The colour represents your innocence and emotions, but it's empty inside. Do you_

_ know why?_

Ciel thought for a moment but couldn't think of anything logical.

"uh because in my mind I'm in a prison?

_A nice guess. But no. You see…your mind is empty because you cannot control it. You have no power to control your mind right now._

Ciel's eyes went wide. What was this man talking about? Of course he was in control of his own thoughts! This had to be a dream.

"I don't believe you." Ciel sighed. This was the first time he disagreed with Sebastian, it kind of hurt.

_Why Ciel, this is the first time you've disagreed with me._

Mind reading? No way! That was luck.

If I'm not in control of my own mind right now then who is? Ciel thought as he got up and decided he might as well try to get out.

**_I am my darling little boy._**

Immediately after saying that Ciel's feet were locked to the floor, like he had somehow covered his feet with glue and stood still for to long; his lips moved a

bit like he was trying to speak but his voice just faded away, until no sound came out at all. He screamed in agony but no sound came. His arms pressed

down to his sides. He felt like he was about to be crushed.

Ciel started panicking. Wake up! WAKE UP! Please! Someone! Help!

He was drowning. In what he didn't know, but he was drowning subconsciously.

Help me! Please! I-I'm scared!

_Aren't you going to call God for help young one?_

Se-Sebastian! Ciel thought. Apparently Sebastian can read his mind.

Help me! I'm scared! I feel like I'm drowning! I Cant move help!

His 'thoughts' voice sounded desperate and naturally scared.

_You seemed set on asking God for help when you were younger._

The 'water' Ciel was drowning in reached his neck.

_Yet he hasn't once given you assistance._

Passed his lips, Ciel couldn't breathe as it flowed down his throat.

_But I have been there for you for years._

Coloring his glassy tear swept eyes and soaking his hair.

_Will you call to me for help again little one?_

….

**SEBASTIAN! HELP ME!**

_Yes, my Lord._

_

* * *

_

His cerulean blue eye sprang open. This time, he didn't move a muscle. He just lied there, in 'wherever the hell this place is' and tried to breathe.

A dream…Ciel thought. I knew it. He sighed But it felt so real. Maybe Sebastian did help me…heh…yeah fucking right.

"Ah my beautiful boy is awake."

Ciel's whole body tensed up. His face showed pure shock, and his visible eye grew wide at the man who appeared in the doorway. This…man. He, was

gorgeous. His jet black hair fell around his face and swept down to his chin. He seemed like a muscular man, but his body was very thin. Ciel was most

attracted by his eyes. How familiar they were. They seemed to..glow? No that's not it, they must just be reflecting light…the red auburn colour that was

given off reminded Ciel of that red gem. What was it called?

"Ruby's." The man said

Ah that's right Ruby- WAIT A MINUTE!

Ciel nearly flew off the bed he was laying on and fell to the floor in a comical way. He crawled a few steps before getting up and running to the farthest wall.

He couldn't get the window open so he pushed himself into the corner of the room. Where was he? What was going on! Was he kidnapped? If so, he

wouldn't ever go home. His parents would make up some story of Ciel going to a boarding school or moving in with another relative. Its not like anyone

would care.

"Do not be afraid Ciel." His name sounded so strange yet seductive when spoken from this mans mouth. How did he know his name? Oh god he's getting closer…

"You weren't kidnapped, you were rescued."

What was he going on about?

"Your mother and father are cruel people. You don't deserve a life like that. Such a display of non affection is a terrible display indeed."

He knew his parents? He knew what they did to him?

"Can you talk dear boy?"

Ciel opened his mouth to speak but his heart hammered in his chest and his breathing picked up. His body began trembling and his knees felt weak.

Great time to have a panic attack idiot! He mentally kicked himself.

Ciel's breathing became rigid and he didn't know what to do. He was so scared; this man could use him as a slave, abuse him, rape him, and kill him. And no one would care!

"Such harsh things to think about ne?"

Oh god what was he reading his mind? Just like…

"se…b"

"What was that?" The man asked. He only moved a bit into the doorway but stood across from Ciel in the corner of the large room.

"Seb..ahh...uh..ss."

Ciel tried one more time. It was like learning to talk all over again!

"tian"… "sebas..tiaann?"

The man smiled wickedly.

"The one and only."

"sebas…tian." Ciel continued to repeat. Like it was the only word he knew how to say.

"You called for help, and I am here."

Sebastian walked closer to Ciel. Ciel tried to magically move the corner so he could walk through the wall.

"I want to help you. I will help you. If you allow it?" he outstretched his hand

Almost 5 feet away Sebastian stopped when he saw Ciel trembling again. He could feel his 'heart' cracking.

"I won't hit you. It would be below me to do such a thing"

Ciel slightly stopped pressing against the wall. He acted just like the Sebastian he talked to all the time, and he even sounded the same. Was this really him?

"I'm here for you Ciel. Like I promised."

"R-re..ally?" Ciel asked curiously

Sebastian stepped closer and reached his hand out again. This time Ciel delicately placed his small hand inside the larger mans.

Sebastian kissed the top of Ciel's hand. A warm feeling filled Ciel's cheeks as a tint of pink dusted his face.

Sebastian got down on one knee and put his other hand over he heart.

"What is your wish?"

"eh..to..Rev…re.. venge." Ciel stated. He could almost talk normally again

"Is it so?" Sebastian smiled "Then it shall be done. My lord."

Ciel was quite confused. Why was Sebastian helping him? He wants to? That's not it. What did Ciel have to do in return? He would ask these questions later when he could speak clearly again. But right now…

Sebastian stood up and smiled warmly at him. This is the man he had been talking to for over 6 years. They knew almost everything about each other.

Those red eyes softened as the saw Ciel shyly step forward out of the secluded corner before running the last 5 feet closing the distance between them. He

hit Sebastian's body with his like a brick wall and wrapped his arms around his waist squeezing slightly.

"Thank..you" He muttered into Sebastian's coat.

* * *

**End chapter 2.**

**Confused? interested? Wanna throw a rock at me? **

**let me know! constructive critisicm is awesome guys! *kisses***

**How bout that? Ciel wants revenge ON his parents, not FOR his parents. mwahaha**


	3. Flashback

Hello everyone! Im really sorry it has been (to long to count) well.. so many days since i updated this! I would like to make up the excuse that i made chapters 1 and 2 over the weekend before i auditioned for our High School Play. since then ive had many rehersals and no time to update...and im going to stop making up excuses now...

This story is i suppose... a filler. I really wanted to get the point across that Ciel was _abused_. This is showing a little more of that, also there will be more small flashbacks of Ciels life before Sebastian throughout the story.

LASTLY! I am totally making this story up as i go along...so if something doesn't seem to fit with something else i wrote please let me know cause i have an idea for an ending but am making up the details as i go heh...

Lastly lastly! My lovely beta i had just got a promotion at her job (congratulations Hearii!) But i don't want to interfere with her work so i still don't have a Beta _ but i shall get one don't fret. XD

Enjoy~

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After Sebastian and Ciel's little 'scene' in the bedroom, Sebastian offered to make Ciel lunch. As soon as the food was set in front of the boy he began to scarf it down as fast as he possibly could. It wasn't that his parents never fed him, but Sebastian's cooking was terribly extravagant and Ciel had never eaten something so delicious in his life.

"You shouldn't eat so fast young one, or you'll choke." Sebastian warned as Ciel swallowed large portions of the smoked ham croissant sandwich and fruit on the side.

"Ah bount kawre. Amd thop kallimg me ioun ome." Ciel slurred out with his mouth still full of food.

"Good lord." Sebastian sighed. "Haven't you been taught any manners? Don't talk with your mouth full."

Ciel swallowed, gulp down some water and tried again. "I said I don't care, and to stop calling me young one. It sounds degrading." Sebastian chuckled and Ciel began to fume, "Well for your age you have an extensive vocabulary." Sebastian smiled. "I was the smartest in my class. Getting bad grades hurt." Ciel whispered as the memories began to flood back to a time he received a 78% on a spelling test in third grade.

Flashback

_Ciel wandered into his house after a long day at school. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before because his parents had been moving about all night in their own room doing god knows what. All he knew was that the noises frightened him and he hid in his closet with the pillow over his head and his ears clamped shut. _

_He was so tired at school that he hadn't been paying attention to his spelling test. As the teacher said each word he would only hear the second half, or not hear the word at all._

"_The next word students, is color." Said the teacher_

'_Color' thought Ciel. K-O-L-L-E-R_

"_Next is Blue" The teacher stated_

_What did she say? Who? W-H-O was what Ciel wrote down. _

_This pattern continued throughout the entire test. After class the teacher graded each test and called Ciel over to talk to him._

"_Ciel dear could I have a moment? Your test score was very low from this past spelling test. In fact it was the lowest in the class. Dear are you feeling all right? You seemed a bit drowsy earlier. Ciel?" _

_Ciel snapped back and shook his head quickly "Sorry ma'am! I was a bit tired it's my own fault! I promise to do better next time!"_

_The teacher nodded slightly and sent him on his way. A 78%? The lowest in the class? He never felt more anxious. He walked in the front door and saw his mother and a friend, in the living room lounging and chatting, which quieted when they heard the boy come in. Ciel tried to sneak up stairs quietly and avoid them but they caught him and called him over._

"_Ciel how was your spelling test today?" Rachel asked. Under normal circumstances that would sound respectful and natural from a mother. But in Ciel's case it was meant as a 'did you get the highest possible grade? So the Phantomhive name doesn't crumble and the fault be set upon myself from giving birth to an idiot.'_

"_I-uh g..got a sev-venty e-eight percent." Ciel shifted on his feet and shyly looked away from his mothers glare._

_After what felt like centuries of an awkward silence between them his mother piped up in an almost happy tone. "Well I am sure that your father would like to have a word with you when he gets home." She shoved him off with a 'now shoo' hand movement. He took the message and waited in his room. His heart pounding loudly in his chest with fear of what was to come when his father got home. _

_

* * *

_

_Ciel's father seemed to arrive home sooner than he normally did. Why did God hate him so much? Ciel tried to think of the best plan possible that would deal the worst amount of damage. _

'_He climbed under his covers and squeezed his eyes tight. If I pretend to be asleep maybe he won't hurt me'_

"_Ciel" a voice called. _

"_Sebastian?" Ciel muffled into the pillow. He lifted his head up for a mere second to call for Sebastian again._

_It was too late. Ciel heard his dads footsteps rumble up the stairs. "CIEL!" Vincent roared. 'Oh no!' Ciel visibly shivered as his father flew open the door. It swung into the wall and left a dent with the force put on it. _

"_Ciel!" Vincent blared_

"_Yes s-sir?" Ciel stuttered_

"_How dare you hide from me? Come out now!"_

_Ciel shifted and pulled the blanket off his head. His hair askew and a few strands stuck to his forehead from sweating. He wasn't all the way off the bed, his feet still dangling off the side when his dad had run out of patience. Gripping Ciel's hair he lifted him off the bed a bit but not completely. The grip on his hair was rough but not painful…yet._

"_Your mother tells me you were bad today. Explain what you did this time." He was already fuming._

_Ciel opened his eyes slightly which he previously squeezed shut._

"_Daddy.." Vincent shook him a bit like a warning_

"_Sir…" Vincent didn't want to believe he was the boy's father so he didn't want Ciel to call him 'daddy' or even 'Vincent'. Only Sir or Mister._

"_I got a 78% on my spelling test Sir." Ciel stared straight into his fathers brown eyes full of hatred and ice. _

_"Don't look at me." He snarled and the grip tightened. A few hair strands were pulled out. "Nghh!" Ciel squeaked out as tears formed in his eyes from the small bit of pain._

_Ciel squeezed his eyes shut and curled his small hands into balls as he tried to protect his face from what was to come. Vincent loosened his grip on the boy's hair and pulled him completely off the bed. Ciel thought he was going to leave but instead Vincent pushed the door shut and picked up a ruler from Ciel's desk._

_"Ciel. Spell 'ruler'."_

_"r-u-l-e-r" Ciel managed. Ugh! He wasn't stupid; he just had a bad day! Any normal father would have accepted that, but come on. Ciel's parents were definitely not normal._

_"Spell book" Vincent wiped the ruler through the air like a sword. The ruler made a 'swish' noise._

_"b-o-o-k" Ciel stood straight with his arms at his sides like a solider. He relaxed a bit feeling he was able to play his fathers little game. He also for once wasn't getting hurt._

_Vincent walked over to Ciels bookshelf and picked up his favorite picture book._

_"Spell 'picture' Vincent's voice dropped lower and sounded much scarier._

_"p-i-c-t-u-r" Ciel spelled._

_The ruler made a 'swish' noise as it smacked Ciel's right thigh._

_"Ahhn!" Ciel cringed and his knees began to give away but before he hit the floor Vincent gripped his wrist and pulled him back up._

_Pages were ripped out of the book; so many that it shouldn't have even been considered a book anymore. Ciel mentally was pouring tears out. How could he? Ciel treasured that book Goodnight Moon. He sniffled._

_For the next 28 minutes Vincent threw countless words at Ciel forcing him to spell them. Some were so impossible an 8th grader couldn't spell them. Many of Ciel's treasures were ruined, and his body hurt from the whacks and whips he received from the ruler. Red bumps and marks were all over his thighs and forearms. His favorite things like his drawings he now kept in a draw and his markers, which were thrown away. The thing that he loved the most however made him physically start to crumble. It was Ciel's teddy bear, the little furry, soft, brown bear with button eyes and a thin red ribbon around its neck. Ciel named the little teddy bear Pluto. Pluto was what absorbed most of his tears at night and was the only thing that ever gave him a hug. Although he talked to Sebastian, he never got any physical love, now it was all gone._

_Vincent ripped the arms off and stole the eyes. He left the stuffing on the floor and the red ribbon on top of the pile. He pushed passed Ciel who was now sitting on the floor in a ball holding his ankle, which was a bit swollen. He spoke not a world until Vincent left. He picked up the small ribbon and tied it around his wrist._

_"Bye bye Pluto" Ciel sobbed softly._

* * *

(End Flashback)

"C…l…..Ci…el?" Sebastian lightly shook Ciels shoulder. "huh?" Ciel jumped when he saw Sebastian so close. "I-im fine!" He jumped up from the table. Ciel noticed Sebastian's face was full of concern. His auburn red eyes shining from the lowlights of the room. He realized why when he felt a small tear sting his cheek.

When did I start crying?

Ciel wiped the tear away quickly; He stood up abruptly. Brushing away any sign of sadness Ciel angrily shouted "Stop staring!" When Sebastian moved a bit closer Ciel backed up and stumbled slightly over his chair blushing from the action.

"Ciel? Calm down its just me." Sebastian reached out for him.

"no..no im fine. I'll be in my bedroom!" He yelled as he ran with his hands covering his eyes.

Sebastian sighed. He was going to have to do something to get Ciel to trust him more. To open up before he could discover the inner emotions Ciel was hiding. Even though he talked to Ciel so much, but being face to face with him was entirely different. Ciel was going to continue to hide from him.

How to connect with a child?

Sebastian turned away from the hallway Ciel ran down. He looked at the mess Ciel left from his dinner and chuckled.

"Silly child, does he think I am a mere servant."


End file.
